Learn to Embrace ‘No’

No may be the single most dreaded word in selling. But you can learn to appreciate it.

We’re learn from early childhood that no is a constraint on our ability to get or do what we want.

“No. Don’t put that in your mouth.”

“No. You can’t eat a cookie before dinner.”

“No. You can’t stay up past 8:00.”

Sometimes we take it as a personal rejection.

“No, I don’t want to go out with you. No, I don’t have time to see you now.”

No, you weren’t accepted at the school you really wanted to attend.

Why We Hate to Hear It

We learn to think positive, not to be negative. We associate negativity with frustration and failure and positive thinking with success and rewards.

Throughout all this experience we internalize the message that no is bad and yes is good. And we certainly carry that notion through to our selling.

No means no progress. No opportunity. No commission. Maybe these days, no paycheck and no more job.

Maybe is Your Real Enemy

Jim Camp has taught me to welcome and respect no. While it’s not quite my best friend, it’s welcome company. As great as yes can be, no is almost as good.

It’s maybe that we should all avoid like the plague. It kills sales careers and devours lives like a school of piranha.

What’s your one irreplaceable resource?

It’s your time. You can always get more money, more energy, another job. You can start over with everything else.

But you are always getting older, and your life is always getting shorter.

Maybe steals your most precious asset.

No Can Never Hurt as Much as Maybe

Maybe monopolizes your attention and burns your energy. It callously builds your hopes and expectations. It strings you along and often dumps you hard.

Maybe causes you to continue investing in “opportunities” that may be going nowhere. It causes your management to wonder if you can close a deal. It creates a sense of neediness. You feel you need to move from maybe to yes.

No is your antidote to the poison of maybe. It tells you exactly where you stand: No phone call or meeting, no opportunity, no deal.

It also tells you, no more reason for you to spend any more time or energy on this unless you can come back with a different offer.

No can be either an invitation to negotiate or a signal that it’s time to let go. Move on. Save your time for better opportunities. Conserve your energy.

Invite No Early and Often

That’s why, despite your impulse to keep alive a string of maybes, you’re much better off inviting a no. The earlier you get your no in a sales cycle, the better.

At times I’ve gotten so frustrated with maybes or lack of response that I’ve called or emailed a prospect to say this:

“Normally when I’ve been working with someone and he stops responding to my calls, it’s for either of two reasons. It’s either because he’s very busy or for some reason he’s lost interest. Either is OK.

“I would really appreciate your letting me know where things stand so we can both move on without wasting each other’s time. Will you please let me know which is the case for you?”

This is a hard question to ask because we all fear the possibility that an opportunity has dried up.

If that’s what’s happened, you’re much better off knowing it sooner rather than later. It will give you time to move on to something more productive.

Who knows? Maybe your prospect is just busy. I’ve had people call me back to say “I’m sorry. I’m really interested. I’ve just been waylaid on a few other things. Please call me Monday.”

Inviting No Strengthens Your Self Esteem

By being direct and appearing not to need the opportunity, you also set yourself off from other sales people. You put yourself in a position of equality rather than of need or subservience.

It helps build your confidence. And where you’re confident, you’re more credible, more authoritative, and more likely to win business.

Stay fresh.

– Scott Silverback